Well, I have now been here for over 24 hours! The transition has been harder than I expected. I guess I figured that if I packed a bunch of things to do, and I keep working, it shouldn’t be that bad, maybe even relaxing. I think I’ll eventually get to that point, but I’m not there yet. As I said, it’s barely been 24 hours, but I’m finding it hard to focus and settle in. I brought all these activities to do, but which ones should I start?! How do I do my job remotely? How do I get used to ordering all my food 1 hour ahead of time?

First, a note on visiting:

I really appreciate that so many friends want to come visit! Thank you!! Yes visitors are allowed and yes I want them! The days are long here, and I think it will be helpful to a. have some food that isn’t hospital food or Uber Eats and b. have people to look forward to seeing. I also think it will be helpful to space visitors out, so I made a schedule! If you’re interested, just let me know and I’ll send you the schedule to sign up for a day I can look forward to.

Here’s a recap of the past few days:

Erin and I both took Friday off to go to Chelan and meet with a builder! It still feels somewhat reckless to be building a house, given the circumstances, but we are spending money as we wait, so we might as well at least take a few next steps like drill a well and get some plans together. It was a good reminder that there’s a life we want to build outside of this hospital, and it will still be there when I get out.

I spent most of the weekend thinking about packing, actually packing, running some errands, and trying to enjoy my last moments of freedom with Sam and Erin. However, I was mostly left with just this sense that I wanted to get on with it.

Here is what I packed!

• Clothes – all the maternity shirts I own, shorts, pants, yoga pants, comfortable clothes, some dresses, sandals, slippers, another pair of slippers, 2 robes, laundry bag
• Toiletries – all the usual short-term travel things (toothbrush, toothpaste, ear plugs, mouth guard, makeup, glasses, contacts, glasses cleaner, hair brush) plus long-term things like soap, full bottles of shampoo & conditioner (I splurge on Aveda), this Aveda “stress relax” oil that I’ve been rubbing on the babies each time I take a shower because maybe it will help?, nail clippers, etc…
• Linens – my own blankets and pillow, a mattress pad that I don’t think I need, towel (I didn’t initially pack this but Erin brought it later – the towels suck here), bath mat
  • Update: I put the mattress pad on, and it is SO MUCH BETTER. The beds were okay before, but I figured “why not try to make them better?”
• Arts & crafts – guitar, crochet hooks, literally all the yarn I own, loom, craft box with some random crafty things
• Entertainment – iPad, Kindle, iPhone, computer, chargers. So far, the wifi sucks here and I’ve been tethering pretty much constantly. A gal next door said it’s not usually this bad, but I may need a hotspot if it doesn’t get better.
  • Update: I did buy a hotspot from Boost Mobile. It’s working pretty well. It’s slow for work but gets the job done, and it’s only $50/mo for 50GB!
• Decorations – photos, streamers
• Toys for Sam – we got him some brand new hospital toys to keep here, as something to maybe make this more exciting for him. Duplos, a truck that carries a tractor, and a toy BBQ set
• Miscellaneous items – one of those back cushion thingies you can sit up with, a lap desk from a friend who was on bedrest (thanks Christina!), yoga mat, a LAMP! Everyone loves my lamp.
• Things I borrowed from the hospital – a desk chair! I found one in a waiting room that so far has always been empty.
• Update: since I have been inpatient, I added an electric kettle, stuff to make pour-over coffee, and a bowl.

Day 1

On Monday, my sentencing day, we did our last daycare dropoff with Sam, and then I called the unit to determine my check in time — 2pm. Erin and I went out for one last meal — to Portage Bay, and I enjoyed my last meal of buckwheat pancakes, eggs, sausage, and potatoes (didn’t know I’d be doing my glucose test later that day! hah). Then we went home for a little bit, walked the dogs, finished packing up the car, and I petted the dogs for a few. Before we knew it, it was time to go. Leaving home was hard–I cried as I said goodbye to Sam’s room and the doggies. Regardless of how this turns out, it was interesting to think that I won’t be pregnant the next time I come home. I will miss the doggies, and I will just miss being at home! I’m so close to home, but so far.

We arrived at the hospital at 2pm, and we loaded a bunch of my stuff up onto a wheelchair to carry it up to the 6th floor where I’m living. We checked in, and I immediately started unpacking my clothes (pro travel tip from Kari! :D). The nurse laughed at me for doing that so quickly. I guess most folks don’t come in expecting an up-to-10-week stay.

It turned out that the nurse was laughing about me unpacking because she wanted me to do my first NST. WEE NSTs! That is basically why I am here.

It stands for non-stress test, but it basically means that they do heart rate monitoring for the babies, for usually 1 hour at a time. At 24 weeks 5 days, the babies are still small and moving around a lot, so trying to get even 20 minutes of continuous heart rate activity (for two babies) is very challenging. It’s probably somewhat like tracking the heart rates of two fish in a fish bowl, in the dark. They are medium-sized fish I guess, but not huge fish so they can move around in the bowl. Miraculously, the nurse found Baby A’s heart rate right away, and Baby B’s soon after (sidenote: they actually have no clue who is A or B…). We are starting with 2 NSTs per day, for 1 hour each. Eventually that will increase to 3x a day. So far I’ve had 3 NSTs, and this first one was the smoothest. The babies didn’t move around much, and it seemed like they got a good read for almost the whole hour. I also did my glucose test, which I passed!

Meanwhile, Erin went to go pick up Sam so we could introduce him to my home away from home. Sam didn’t seem too upset about the whole thing — he was excited to open the new toys! After playing with the toys for a little bit, we went downstairs to the cafeteria to find dinner.

MEALS…

I’m gluten-free, which makes a limited hospital menu immediately more limiting. The good news is that Uber Eats delivers here! So do kind and wonderful friends 😀

The cafeteria didn’t have much that was gluten-free and appealing, so we got Sam some stuff to eat and went back up to my room to order room service. At least there is a gluten-free menu for that!

After Sam ate his dinner and played with his toys a bit longer, he said “Are we done with the doctor now? I want to go home.” They left around 7pm. This is when it hit me. I haven’t spent so much time alone in years, and with Sam’s recent bedtime difficulties, it’s rare that I even get time to myself before 9pm. It was strange to have them leave, and sad. I cried.

But onward.

Room service food takes about 1 hour to arrive, so soon my salmon dinner was here. It was pretty good, considering, but I can see how the food will get old here quickly.

I played my guitar for a few minutes and started watching Episode 1 of Game of Thrones. Then it was time for another NST around 9pm. This one was more difficult — the babies were moving around more and harder to keep on the monitors. I didn’t make it through the whole episode of GoT!

Once that was over, it was about 10pm aka bed time! The bed isn’t as uncomfortable as people warned me about. I think they put an extra cushion on it. There are, however, a lot of lights in the room that I need to get used to. I slept okay, though, and woke up just a few times.

This morning, I woke up around 7am, took a shower, got dressed, and went downstairs to the cafeteria to find breakfast and coffee. I tried the cafeteria coffee today, which was not very good. I have 2 other coffee options that I will explore in the coming days! I will write a coffee review after that.

I popped on a conference call at 8am, and once that was over around 8:30am, I told the nurse I was ready for my NST. This one was the most difficult of all so far. The babies were moving like crazy, and the nurse had a very hard time getting them on the monitors and keeping them there. They brought in an ultrasound to try to find the babies, but even with that, they were having a hard time! Meanwhile, I was trying to participate in a conference call. This did not work very well and quickly became very frustrating. Lesson: don’t try to take conference calls during these early weeks of monitoring. The monitoring should get easier as the babies get bigger, but right now it can require all hands on deck. Meanwhile, I got my first steroid shot to help the baby lungs develop.

That all wrapped up around 10:30am. On Tuesdays, they do this patient support group thing. I went to that at 11am and met one other patient on the floor. It was nice to meet someone else on the floor!

After that, I worked for a few more hours. I will admit that I was having trouble focusing on work today. I think as I get settled this will become easier. It’s just been a hard transition from FREEDOM to.. not. It’s also hard to transition from in-office work to fully-remote work.

On The Effects of Immobility

I also got a visit from the physical therapist. She gave me some basic physical therapy exercises to do with an exercise band so I don’t lose all my fitness while I’m here, and I’m supposed to use a compression machine on my legs for a few hours a day. It is interesting how much treatment I am getting because people expect that I will stop moving around because I’m stuck here (which is definitely true). But at the same time, I have a huge amount of free time… Is this really better?

It was nice outside today, so I also went for a walk to explore the hospital grounds. On the back side of the hospital, I can walk down to the Montlake Cut and watch the boats go by. I wanted to stick my thumb out for a boat ride, but I didn’t. I also walked past a Lime Bike that was calling my name, but of course I didn’t do that either. I have gotten conflicting opinions from some of the nurses and doctors about whether or not I’m allowed to go outside by myself. Some have said that I shouldn’t go outside without someone with me, which would make my summer days here very long. My primary MFM doctor said it’s fine, though, so I am operating based on that! The staff doesn’t usually get patients like me who are here for the long-term without any major immediate complications.

After my walk, I came back to my room, and my doctor came by for a visit. Now it’s 5:30 PM, and Erin & Sam should be arriving any minute. Also my friend Lindsay is bringing tacos. Mmm tacos.

My next monitoring will be this evening around 8pm, then we’ll be back at it again tomorrow. For the next several weeks, we are just doing two NSTs per day, likely at 8am and 8pm to try to get into a routine. These can take a few hours to actually find the babies and get a good read. Otherwise, I am free to do what I want as long as I don’t leave the hospital grounds or leave the unit for more than ~1 hour at a time. It’s kind of weird that I have to be here for all that time in between monitoring. As I mentioned earlier, eventually the monitoring will increase to 3x a day. In the meantime, you can thank our lawyers and insurance providers for making it so I can’t leave the hospital during the 10 hours in between monitoring sessions. Liability risks and insurance claims, thank you! If you made it this far, I’ll enter you into a drawing to win a prize!