Introduction When I published my Epilogue post, a wise sage asked me “what does grief look like for you?” This person could surely write her own book on grief. I met her shortly after her husband died in a tragic rock climbing accident. She was a bit older than me, and I was fresh out

A few weeks ago, Annalee stayed home from preschool. I wouldn’t say she was sick exactly. She was tired, and she really didn’t want to go to school, so I let her stay home. “I’m tired, mommy,” she said in her sweet voice. But by the end of the day, she was missing her sister

Everyone loves a good epilogue, right?! I’ve been thinking about restarting this blog for over a year now, but so much has happened that I didn’t know where to start. And for awhile, there were many topics that felt off-limits to write about. But I need to tell my story, in hopes that it helps

As we arrived at the vet for Patches’s euthanasia appointment, the person working there asked, “are you here for the nail trim?” No. No we aren’t. Miss Patches. The thing I loved most about Patches is that she was unapologetically herself. In times when I have trouble being myself, I think of Patches as a

Hello! It has been awhile. When we left off, Annalee was still in the NICU. She finally got discharged on November 18th, and we’ve been settling into life since then. Our total time in the hospital was just over 4 months. 53 days inpatient, 55 in NICU for Margo, and 74 for Annalee. See, the

The roller coaster ride continues. When I last wrote, Annalee was finally starting to make progress on her feeding. Her cap was raised to 40ml per feeding and it looked like we were on track to take off the cap, finish bottles, and go home. But then she got her 2 month vaccines last Wednesday.

Last week, Margo had her newborn visit at the pediatrician. This week, she had her 2 month visit and shots. I’ve struggled with how to answer when someone asks me how old my babies are. They are 41 weeks gestational age but 2 months actual. Margo looks like she’s about 2 weeks old, so when

We’ve had Margo home for 3 days now. Compared to a toddler, a baby seems so simple! Margo’s needs are straightforward: eat, sleep, poop. Sam’s needs are much more complicated, with emotions, opinions, and questions. It makes me wonder why having Sam as a baby seemed so hard. It also makes me thankful that we

It has been a whirlwind couple of days. I will update on each gaggle member separately Margo Margo Millie, the “go big or go home” girl, is home!!! Baby A, who came out first kicking and screaming—so hard that she gave herself a pneumothorax—is also the first one home at 55 days old (due date

Purgatory. Watching water boil. I can think of so many analogies. The last few days have been painfully slow. Annalee has really stalled on her bottle/breastfeeding progression. Some of this was expected last week as she adjusted to life off the cannula and caffeine. But it’s been over a week, and the percent of milk