I’m finding this blog to be tedius at the moment (you’re probably like “yeah just shut up already”) so I figured I’d update in the form of an FAQ.

Note: I wrote this post yesterday.

How am I recovering?

My c section recovery has seemed easier this time, and it has been pretty uneventful. Maybe it is true that you recover faster if you aren’t taking care of an infant 24/7. I was more mobile in the first few days compared to last time, and I was able to drive without any issues within 4 days. That said, I haven’t attempted to exercise at all. My arms and legs are definitely weak — my hamstrings got sore from putting a crib together, but I was able to put the crib and some new furniture for Sam together!

I’m not that tired in the typical sense that you’d expect with twins since they aren’t home yet and I only wake up briefly 1-2 times per night to pump, but I do feel lazy tired. By that, I mean that I don’t take the stairs at the hospital very often anymore (some of this is due to the NICU wing stairwell, which makes a lot of weird noises and I just don’t like being in there). And I don’t feel like doing anything other than reading, sitting in the NICU, trying to feed the girls, and pumping. I feel guilty about this because I don’t think I’ve done a very good job of expressing gratitude for all the support that we have gotten. Sometimes it feels really hard to respond to messages or say thank you in a sufficient way. Sorry about that. It’s something on my mind that I hope to remedy soon.

One odd thing does seem really different this time: I feel a strong sensation of wanting to cry, like I’m watching a sappy romance movie, just before my milk lets down. It especially happens when I’m out and about and away from the babies. I’ll feel this strong sensation like I want to cry (but not necessarily in a bad way), and then 3 seconds later, I feel the letdown. I don’t remember that happening with Sam. I think it’s this condition called dysphoric milk ejection reflex (DMER). But why now? Maybe the increased hormones due to so much pumping, or the time spent away from my babies. 🤷‍♀️

Another surprise was the stretch marks. They snuck up on me while I was inpatient. I’ve been trying to put lotion on them in the hopes that they will fade faster. Not sure if it will work.

How is NICU life different than inpatient life?

Inpatient life was like a strange prison vacation. It was summer. I had visitors every day pretty much. I kept myself busy with crafts, guitar, and walks. I took the stairs as much as possible. NICU life in contrast is very solitary, but by choice. It’s clearly fall. We’ve had no visitors other than family (because germs). I hardly ever take the stairs. I don’t go to art group. I spend my days reading, napping, and waiting for the next care time. It’s a 3 hour cycle, since the babies have care times at 8am, 11am, 2pm, 5pm, etc. Margo is always first, so we change her diaper, check her temperature, and then practice feeding (usually breastfeeding when I’m here but sometimes bottle). That takes about 30 min. Then we do the same thing for Annalee. Then I have about an hour break. Then I have to pump 1 hour before the next care time. Then I have about a 40 min break. And the cycle repeats. In a nutshell, it’s hard to do much other than follow this schedule, eat lunch, and read.

How much do the twins weigh now?

Today Margo is 5 lb 11oz and Annalee is 6 lb 2 oz!

Can you tell them apart?

I’m not sure. Annalee seems chubbier to me and generally more pink. Margo’s fingers look longer in comparison. I haven’t really seen them both without some sort of tape or cannula on their faces, though, so I think it’s too soon to say. I plan to make ankle bracelets to help us keep track of them at home.

When are they coming home?

No idea. It is up to them! I hear that this stage of learning to eat can drag on, and then one day they figure it out and quickly get discharged. I would imagine we have about 2 weeks left, maybe more? 🤷‍♀️

How are they doing this week?

It’s been another week of ups and downs. Margo got her cannula off on Saturday, but they just put it back on today (Wednesday) because she’s had an increase in events and she started struggling more with her feeding. She’s gotten more vigorous and interested in feedings, which has resulted in some issues with sucking too hard and not having good enough coordination to breathe and swallow. The amount of milk she’s taking by bottle has decreased as a result. They think the cannula might help, and we are also trying a slower flow nipple with the bottles. I’ve noticed a “go big or go home” pattern with Margo. Annalee has had her cannula on the whole time but is progressing well with her feeding. She’s consistently taken over 25ml in her bottles (over half her feeding).

They also got eye exams to check for ROP, which is a retina condition that preemies can get. They are outside of the risk zone for ROP (more common in micropreemies) so I’m not sure why the doctors felt the need to do an eye exam, but their eyes are fine.

Is your house ready for them yet?

Not quite. I’ve been working on getting their room ready. Not quite done but getting closer. It is hard to fit 2 cribs in a room with 2 large closets!

Getting the baby room ready also meant taking the rocking chair and changing table out of Sam’s room (he’s still not potty trained…). I was worried he would be upset about this, but he didn’t care. He got a big kid table in exchange for the rocker.

Meanwhile, Erin is working on the bathroom tile. It’s coming together nicely!

We pulled Sam’s old car seat out of the shed because we plan to use it for one of the girls, and we discovered 3 dead rats sitting in it. I was very thankful for Erin in that moment. If it weren’t for him, that car seat would have gone straight in the trash, but he was able to get rid of the dead rats and wash the cushions.

How is the rest of the gaggle?

Let’s see. Patches ate one of Sam’s diapers the other day and we had concerns that she had a bowel obstruction (Even after we pulled about 1.5 feet of something out of her butt). She’s had low energy and some sporadic puking. I thought for a moment that this could be our moment to shrink our gaggle, but I’m not that mean—I still took her to the vet. The vet said she looked ok. Tomorrow is her 5 year adoption birthday! She’s been a total thorn in my side for 5 years. When I first met Patches, I had a sinking feeling that she was a bad idea, but we took the ferry to go meet her, and I just couldn’t say no. 5 years of battling mange and allergies, working on managing her bossiness, but also 5 years of snuggles, bubble and hose parties, and the best mama bear we could ask for. I appreciate that she barks at our dirtbag neighbors and doesn’t run away like Ovie. She also really is the best snuggle buddy.

Ovie also seems not quite as full of energy. Maybe they have a dog virus, or maybe it’s the weather. Ovie continues to be an escape artist. He crawls under the fence and goes to the neighbor’s house. This arrangement seems to work well for Ovie and the neighbors. Erin spotted Ovie with our neighbor inside their house, meanwhile their dog was sitting outside. Ovie’s always been a people pleaser. Anyway, we are trying to fix the fence to prevent these escapes. Attempt 1 of just cinder blocks didn’t work. Next we will try chicken wire AND cinder blocks.

Sam continues with his swim lessons. I realized the other day, watching him compared to his classmates, that Sam really doesn’t like to just follow the rules. I knew this based on our daily struggles with, well, everything, but it was eye opening seeing it compared to other kids. Also, the other day, he asked me for a wood chipper. His best friend from daycare is about to move to Boston, which I know is going to be rough on him. The twins will probably come home soon after that, too, so he will be in for a real treat! The other day, we walked by the fire station and the fire fighter let us in. Sam was completely beside himself.

We also carved a pumpkin. It was supposed to be a fire truck but it looks more like a van that a painter drives.

Daddy is still his favorite parent.

Did you know that Erin doesn’t even read this blog? I’ve been a bit worried that Erin might lose his shit after shouldering so much of the burden while I was in the hospital, but I think it will be okay! He’s been distracting himself with the Chelan house plans and the bathroom remodel.

What about that Chelan house?

Drilling for the well will start any day now. Cross your fingers that they hit water the first time because we pay by the foot and nearby wells are 450-600 ft deep. Meanwhile, we are working on the floor plan!